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Category: humor

Happy B-day Pissarro

Happy Birthday Camille Pissarro, the tamest of anarchists. Actually, his birthday was yesterday, but since he shares it with Proust, I bumped him. That’s anarchy for you.

He was the guy who put Louveciennes on the map. What? You don’t know Louveciennes? Well, it’s a nice town, but nothing much goes on there. Nothing much to paint there, either, which suited Pissarro, because he didn’t want to paint what other people painted. He didn’t want to paint what other people wanted either, creating pieces with exciting titles like ‘street in a village.’ Doesn’t that make you want to go out right now and look for it? If so, you can find a reproduction in Louveciennes, on rue de Voisins. I just like saying the name Louveciennes over and over, and thinking how it literally means ‘your wolves,’ female wolves, wolvettes. Pissarro is also fun to say. Try it.

I’ll guide you to his final resting place on MyVoiceMap audio tours of the Père Lachaise cemetery, and tell stories from his life.

  

See funny pics and text from our picnic together in The Chairfather book.

The passed have never been more alive!

Book a lunch date with the fallen famous NOW!

Or later…

Really, it doesn’t matter. Their agendas are quite open.

#Paris #tourism #travel #VoiceMap #audioguide #eBook #goofball

© 2018 Copyright Joe Start. All rights reserved.



 

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Happy B-day Proust


Happy birthday, Marcel Proust. We’d never have known about you if you hadn’t insisted. After getting rejection letters from everyone, he said “‘screw it,’ I’ll pay to have my book published.” Then he paid newspapers to print glowing reviews for the book, which he wrote himself!

From that point on, he couldn’t be shut up, meandering along seven volumes before kicking the bucket. You see, he wanted to be Balzac, who wrote about a hundred volumes, all with the same characters. Proust thought he could go on and on. He was the best author the Pythons could have chosen for their famous game show sketch.

If you think I’m unkind to the literary legend, check out what Nathalie Quintaine has to say about his writing: impolite, unlovable, perverted, only esteemed by brown-nosed critics. Read all about it in her Ultra-Proust book which just came out (that La Fabrique was happy to publish without being paid by Ms. Quintaine).

I’ll guide you to his final resting place on MyVoiceMap audio tours of the Père Lachaise cemetery, and tell stories from his life.

  

See funny pics and text from our picnic together in The Chairfather book.

The passed have never been more alive!

Book a lunch date with the fallen famous NOW!

Or later…

Really, it doesn’t matter. Their agendas are quite open.

#Paris #tourism #travel #VoiceMap #audioguide #eBook #goofball

© 2018 Copyright Joe Start. All rights reserved.



 

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Happy B-day de la Fontaine

artist: Joshua Wait

Happy Birthday Jean de la Fontaine. He popularized fables for children, and is more famous than Grimm or Aesop in France. All re-wrote tales from oral tradition, but I’d say de la Fontaine added the most flourish.

To celebrate, here’s some original artwork, entitled the Fox and the Crow from brushslinger Joshua Wait. Check out more of his paintings and drawings here.

And here’s a pretty good translation of Jean de la Fontaine’s ‘La cigalle et le fourmis’ reminding us on this nice Summer day, that Winter will come again, and encouraging us to work now for hard times lie ahead…

THE CICADA AND ANT
The gay cicada, full of song
All the sunny season long,
Was unprovided and brought low,
When the north wind began to blow ;
Had not a scrap of worm or fly,
Hunger and want began to cry ;
Never was creature more perplexed.
She called upon her neighbour ant,
And humbly prayed her just to grant
Some grain till August next ;
“I’ll pay, ” she said, “what ye invest,
Both principal and interest,
Honour of insects –and that’s tender. ”
The ant, however, is no lender ;
That is her least defective side ;
“But, hark ye, pray, Miss Borrower, ” she cried,
“What were ye doing in fine weather ? ”
“ Singing . . .  nay,! look not thus askance,
To every comer day and night together. ”
“ Singing ! I’m glad of that ; why now then dance. ”

I’ll guide you to de la Fontaine’s final resting place on MyVoiceMap audio tours of the Père Lachaise cemetery, and tell stories from his life.

See funny pics and text from our picnic together in The Chairfather book.

The passed have never been more alive!

Book a lunch date with the fallen famous NOW!

Or later…

Really, it doesn’t matter. Their agendas are quite open.

#Paris #tourism #travel #VoiceMap #audioguide #eBook #goofball

© 2018 Copyright Joe Start and Joshua Wait. All rights reserved.



 

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Father’s Day with The Chairfather

What better way to spend Father’s Day than by reminding Poppa that he’s not eternal. Have The Chairfather walk him around the Père Lachaise cemetery!

Men have a hard time talking about their emotions. But with earbuds in your heads, you won’t have to!

I’ll guide you to 50 final resting places on MyVoiceMap audio tours of the Père Lachaise cemetery.

See funny pics and text in The Chairfather book.

The passed have never been more alive!

Book a lunch date with the fallen famous NOW!

Or later…

Really, it doesn’t matter. Their agendas are quite open.

#Paris #tourism #travel #VoiceMap #audioguide #eBook #goofball

© 2018 Copyright Joe Start. All rights reserved.



 

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we remember Bibesco

On this day, we bid bye-bye to Georges III Bibesco the last Prince of Valachie, which was known as Transylvania. He’s a descendant of Vlad the Impaler who inspired the book Dracula. A royal eagle on his sepulchre carries a stake and cross, which are the means to kill a vampire. Was he a bloodsucker? Well, he’s dead, ain’t he? Them Nosferatus are supposed to be immortal.

You can find him on the bottom of a pile of noble relatives in the “Grave of Noailles.”  I’ll guide you to his final resting place on #MyVoiceMap audio tours of the Père Lachaise cemetery, and tell stories from his life.

See funny pics and text from our picnic together in The Chairfather book.

The passed have never been more alive!

Book a lunch date with the fallen famous NOW!

Or later…

Really, it doesn’t matter. Their agendas are quite open.

#Paris #tourism #travel #VoiceMap #audioguide #eBook #goofball

© 2018 Copyright Joe Start. All rights reserved.



 

Comments closed

Happy B-day Alice B. Toklas

I love you Alice B. Toklas!  And so does Peter Sellers.  We both know the secret ingredient in your birthday cake.  We just can’t remember how to make it, because, uh…

Her most famous creation has a bit less cachet now that many governments have legalized marijuana.  If you don’t want to eat dope, but prefer to smoke it instead, you also have her to thank.  The verb ‘to toke’ comes from a play on her last name.

I’ll guide you to her final resting place on my @VoiceMap tours of the Père Lachaise cemetery, and recite stories from her life.

See funny pictures and text from our picnic together in The Chairfather book.

The passed have never been more alive!

Book a lunch date with the fallen famous NOW!

Or later…

Really, it doesn’t matter. Their agendas are quite open.

 

© 2018 Copyright Joe Start. All rights reserved.



 

Comments closed

Happy B-day Baron

Happy Birthday Georges aka Baron Haussmann.  If you like your cities with elbow room, leg room, you’ll like Georges.

His modifications transformed Paris dramatically: wide avenues, straight lines, more parks, room to move and enjoy. If you want to know what Paris was like before Haussmann, take a walk around London. The British capital hasn’t really changed its footprint since the middle ages. That’s why Londoners are constantly bumping into one another, being pushed off narrow sidewalks, getting lost in winding streets and never finding a bench or a park to take a break.

I’ll guide you to his final resting place on MyVoiceMap audio tours of the Père Lachaise cemetery, and tell stories from his life.

See funny pics and text from our picnic together in The Chairfather book.

The passed have never been more alive!

Book a lunch date with the fallen famous NOW!

Or later…

Really, it doesn’t matter. Their agendas are quite open.

#Paris #tourism #travel #VoiceMap #audioguide #eBook #goofball

© 2018 Copyright Joe Start. All rights reserved.



 

Comments closed

En voiture, Simone

It’s your Birthday Simone Signoret. The expression ‘En voiture, Simone’ meaning ‘let’s go’ has nothing to do with the alluring actress. It comes from one of the hosts on ‘Intervilles’ when they wanted to get the game started.

Anyway, in honor of Simone Signoret, I’d like to invite you to get in your car for two destinations. First stop, the city hall of L’Etang-la-ville. I’ve lived in the area for more than a dozen years, but only just found out that the suspense classic ‘Les Diaboliques’ was filmed there. It’s so cool to know I’m walking in her footsteps when  I go to find out when the next village-wide yard sale will be taking place!

Next stop, Paris. I’ll guide you to her final resting place on my @VoiceMap tours of the Père Lachaise cemetery, and recite stories from her life.

See funny pictures and text from our picnic together in The Chairfather book.  Find out why she slaps me, the wildcat!

The passed have never been more alive!

Book a lunch date with the fallen famous NOW!

Or later…

Really, it doesn’t matter. Their agendas are quite open.

 

© 2018 Copyright Joe Start. All rights reserved.



 

Comments closed

Joyeux anniversaire, Marcel

Happy Birthday to a man of few words, Marcel Marceau.

Likeways, I’ll shut up and let the images speak for themselves…

I’ll guide you to his final resting place on MyVoiceMap audio tours of the Père Lachaise cemetery, and tell stories from his life.

See funny pics and text from our picnic together in The Chairfather book.

The passed have never been more alive!

Book a lunch date with the fallen famous NOW!

Or later…

Really, it doesn’t matter. Their agendas are quite open.

#Paris #tourism #travel #VoiceMap #audioguide #eBook #goofball

© 2018 Copyright Joe Start. All rights reserved.



 

Comments closed

Saint Joseph’s day

The Catholics really know marketing.  Before loyalty cards, they invented the concept of the ‘Saint day.’  Every saint has one, and most of them match common first names.  So, unless you have an offbeat name like Moon Unit, or Dweezil, that means, if you’re catholic, you have a Saint day, too!  You’re celebrated on your birthday and your Saint Day!  Do you get TWO birthdays as a buddhist?  I don’t think so!

Today is Saint Joseph.  While not a catholic, I do live in France, which upholds the tradition.  So, I’m allowed to usurp the day (and the accolades).  No, you don’t need to get me a present, but downloads, likes and reviews for my tours and books are welcome!

I like my name.  It’s versatile, with lots of spellings and diminutives like Joe, Joey, Jo-Jo, but never just ‘Jo.’  The French always want to turn me into a girl with that spelling, which I only accept on Saturday nights 😉  When they do include the ‘e,’ they say ‘Joé’ which is pronounced like ‘Joey.’  While kinda screwy in French, my name sounds good in English, and is pretty universal around the world: José, Josef, Giusseppe, Yusuf and Yossef.

Although Joseph did have the most irrelevant role in the Bible, he definitely deserves Sainthood in my book.  While many of us consider the ‘Good News’ as just that, imagine Joseph’s reaction to learning that his wife was pregnant…

“So, honey, Mary, let me get this straight. We haven’t laid together yet, and you’re already pregnant? You ask me to take it on faith that you haven’t been with anyone else? How does that even work? And this child which isn’t mine, you expect me to raise him, feed him, and teach him my trade? Uh, well, OK.”

As a last note, a kind of ‘drop the mic and walk off the stage’ moment, I challenge ANYBODY to come up with a better all-time baseball lineup, all with the same first name:

  • P- Joe McGinnity
  • C- Joe Mauer
  • 1B- Joe Adcock
  • 2B- Joe Morgan
  • 3B- Joe Sewell
  • SS- Joe Tinker (to Evers to Chance)
  • OF- Joe Dimaggio
  • OF- Joe Medwick
  • OF- Joe Jackson aka ‘Shoeless’

Manager- Joe Torre.  By the way, on the bench I got Joe Garagiola, Joe Carter, Joe Girardi, Joe Kelley, José Rijo and Jersey Joe Stripp!  Don’t mess with Joe!

Only one personality on MyVoiceMap audio tours of the Père Lachaise cemetery has the first name ‘Joseph,’ and that’s just one of his three first names.  No bother, THIS Joseph visits all of them, and so if you wanna hear the goofy things I have to say about Hugo or the other 50 personalities I had lunch with, check this out:

See funny pics and text from my picnics in The Chairfather book.

The passed have never been more alive!

Book a lunch date with the fallen famous NOW!

Or later…

Really, it doesn’t matter. Their agendas are quite open.

#Paris #tourism #travel #VoiceMap #audioguide #eBook #goofball

© 2018 Copyright Joe Start. All rights reserved.



 

Comments closed