Skip to content

Month: November 2018

Faure teaser video

What’s it like to go on The Chairfather tours? Here’s a taste, visiting Félix Faure at Père Lachaise in Paris. 

Look at the old boy’s sculpture, laid out almost as if his body was found this way, minus the ‘banane’ or enormous grin he must’ve had on his face.

Before Bill and Monica, there was Félix and Marguerite, the President and the female admirer who went down… in history.

Desiring a reprieve from those pesky justice-seekers calling for clemency in the Dreyfus affair, President Félix Faure asked his mistress to come over at 5 o’clock. Marguerite Steinheil arrived in the ‘blue room’ at the Elysée palace in the afternoon. Faure dropped his drawers as she applied the presidential ‘pipe’ or enthusiastic fellatio. Marguerite did her job only too well, as moaning Félix reached climax, and in the same instant, stiffly dropped dead.

Their screams brought the rest of the house rushing immediately into the blue room, where Marguerite’s head was seen twisting near his manhood, struggling to remove his convulsed fingers clutching her hair. There were too many witnesses to hush the scandal, and soon all of Paris knew what the papers couldn’t print. 

Rival politician Georges Clemenceau had a field day, joking of Faure, “He wanted to be César, he ended up being Pompé,” which used as a verb translates to ‘pumped.’ Marguerite was tagged with the nickname of ‘la Pompe Funèbre’ which is a double entendre with the act and a funeral ceremony.

That catty Félix showed us that you CAN have too much of a good thing!

 

It’s time to zip up our affairs, cross over to the other side of the Avenue Principale. Walk down six steps, then across the avenue and up the six steps on the other side and turn left. Counting from Le Bas column our next host is 7 down on the right.

 

I’ll guide you to 50 final resting places on my @VoiceMap tours of the Père Lachaise cemetery, and tell stories from the fascinating lives of painters, performers and pompous politicians!

See funny souvenir pictures and text from our picnic together in The Chairfather book.

The passed have never been more alive!

Book a lunch date with the fallen famous NOW!

Or later…

Really, it doesn’t matter. Their agendas are quite open.

#VoiceMap #WalkingTour #audioguide #atyourownpace #Paris #tourism

© 2018 Copyright Joe Start. All rights reserved.



 

Comments closed

Strogonoff teaser

What’s it like to go on The Chairfather tours? Here’s a taste, visiting Strogonoff at Père Lachaise in Paris. 

Approach the gigantic structure at the top of the stairs, which houses only one overblown person.

  Born a Russian baroness, Elizaveta Démidoff-Strogonoff became a countess by marriage, and then followed the count on a diplomatic mission to Paris. They were ardent supporters of Napoleon, which became inconvenient when the little Corsican decided to invade her homeland. She didn’t get along with the count, and returned by herself to live in Paris, where she apparently had a terrible fear of being alone. She died, on a date with three eights, which any internet source will tell you is proof that she was a vampire.  

  Far be it from me to repeat one whopper of an unfounded rumor.  So, I’ll give you two.

  Her will allegedly stipulates that the millions in her entire fortune would go to the person who stayed by her side in the crypt without leaving for an entire year.  Apparently, nobody lasted longer than a night, getting creeped out and running away shrieking that the place is haunted.  I’ll let you pause the tour now if you’d like to give it a shot.

  On the other hand, if you’d like to continue…

 

Walk down all 64 stairs (I know, 66 would have been spookier, huh?). Make a left on the cobblestone road at the bottom. 

I’ll guide you to 50 final resting places on my @VoiceMap tours of the Père Lachaise cemetery, and tell stories from the fascinating lives of painters, performers and pompous politicians!

See funny souvenir pictures and text from our picnic together in The Chairfather book.

The passed have never been more alive!

Book a lunch date with the fallen famous NOW!

Or later…

Really, it doesn’t matter. Their agendas are quite open.

#VoiceMap #WalkingTour #audioguide #atyourownpace #Paris #tourism

© 2018 Copyright Joe Start. All rights reserved.



 

Comments closed

All Saints’ Day

Today is Toussaint, or ‘all Saints’ Day’ in France. Everybody goes to cemeteries to remember.

What’s it like to go on The Chairfather tours? Here’s a taste, visiting Modigliani at Père Lachaise in Paris. 

Go past Madeleine Goukassof on your left and the tall monument to the family Kanjovnzeff on your right.  Our next host is the second on the left just after the pine.

 

Amedeo Modigliani was an Italian master sculptor and painter furiously active at the beginning of the last century.  He liked to paint reclining nudes of beautiful young women, and who can blame him?  Apparently, Parisian police, who closed his only solo exhibition for obscenity on opening day.

Hey, why the long face?  Is it because angular figures are a distinctive feature of the works of Modigliani?  Or is it because the artist died too soon from a degenerative disease at the age of 35?  Or because his young model and lover jumped from a 5th floor window to join him in the afterlife?  Both are reunited under this stone.

His is another incredibly tragic story of a starving artist who passed away before receiving the accolades and riches he deserved.  Who else has both a sculpture, and a painting, among the Top 10 most expensive auctions of each medium?  Not Matisse.  Not Picasso.  Modigliani stands alone.

When you’re ready, go back out to the main cobblestone road and continue walking downhill. 

 

I’ll guide you to 50 final resting places on my @VoiceMap tours of the Père Lachaise cemetery, and tell stories from the fascinating lives of painters, performers and pompous politicians!

See funny souvenir pictures and text from our picnic together in The Chairfather book.

The passed have never been more alive!

Book a lunch date with the fallen famous NOW!

Or later…

Really, it doesn’t matter. Their agendas are quite open.

#VoiceMap #WalkingTour #audioguide #atyourownpace #Paris #tourism

© 2018 Copyright Joe Start. All rights reserved.



 

Comments closed